Take life as it comes. You're given what you can handle. Remember, that you have talents. Remember, that you are beautiful. Remember that you, are alive.
 
I am who I am. I believe what I believe. I have love. I have life. I am happy. I am healthy. I have family. I have friends. I have hopes & dreams. I am not perfect. I am not a model. I am not going to have the answer for every equation life throws at me. But I have Jesus. and I have hope. And faith. and experience. and common sense! And that's enough for me.

Tell yourself these things. Believe these things. Live these things.

M(:

Distance.

It's amazing what we put ourselves through. and It's amazing what life puts us through. 

These past few days have been... different. To say the least.

Things have happened. Life, has happened. People are hurting. Friends are hurting. Family is hurting.

Yet, somehow when you try to comfort these people, or think back to what you would have wanted if/ and when you were in that same situation. and all you get is distance. Distance from the person/people that mean the most to you. Distance from... your very own heart. Because you put SO much into that person/situation. You put so much of YOURSELF into their life/situation that you don't even know how to live or function properly, because you miss them. Or because you miss what you've put time and heart into. You miss everything.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in giving everything your best and giving it your whole heart. Which is why when something happens, and distance is created, I'm the one that gets hurt the most! But I don't regret my hurts for a second. Because on my best days, I had the best people. And on my worst days.. I had maybe one person, or none at all. But the beautiful thing about hurt and loneliness, is that you get to give God that much more. You get to trust him to take it all. It's so easy to do that when you have someone. When you have your person... but when you don't.. that's the hardest time to give it all. To make sure that the gap between you and God, doesn't exist. You see, this is what we do to him daily. This is how he feels. He's ALWAYS there. He gives us his all. and we create distance, and he's the one that gets hurt.

Now, this is a lot to take in. A lot to think about. But seriously, think about it. Think about your friends, and think about your relationships and the people that mean the most to you. And when you're going through a rough patch, don't create distance, because I can't promise that when the distance is gone and done with, that they'll still be there.

But, for now, that's all I have for you, that's all my brain can compute tonight. 

Just give me a few days, and I'll have more for you to read (: 

Thanks for reading. God Bless!

M (:

Changes, Changes (:

Summer 2011 is coming to a close all too fast, although I'm excited to start school and be intelligent again, I'm going to miss the friends, and family, and laughs.. I have memories and pictures to make my life interesting. 

So many people have made this summer amazing for me, and If I could thank all of them individually, I would, but there's too many people to thank.. (: Well, there's 1 name that comes to mind for a lot of it. But I'm not naming names (: 

I'm so very excited to start school again. and I'm excited to have a crazy busy life again. Not that my summer hasn't been crazy busy, but It's a different kind of busy (: 

I hope to write more during the school year, but then again, I've been saying that for months, and I only post like 4-5 times a month, if that!! haha so we'll see what happens (:

I pray for every child of God going back to school this year, that their passion for God and their fire and determination to turn their world UPSIDE DOWN, will remain in their heart.

It's all for you, Jesus! Let our lives show that YOU are our Creator, that YOU are our King! and that YOU are my God. 
I love you with all my heart (:


So, that's all.. Until next time (; 


M. (:

Summer 2011- Where are the words?

Hello everyone (:

How've you been?
That's great!! haha now I feel like Dora.

Anyways, I don't think I've blogged for about 2-ish weeks, I've been one crazy busy person.


I've been working, doing stuff for church, getting ready for school, and hanging out and talking to some of the most amazing people I've ever met, my best friends. <3 

Summer of 2011 has been... epic, exciting, crazy, stressful, amazing, busy, annoying, way too much fun, hanging out with thee most amazing people, developing relationships with so many different people, it has just been beyond crazy. (: Part of me wants school to start, and part of me wants to stay in this summer, and spend even more time with my besties, and live life without care... I can never find a happy medium. Totally opposite. haha but I'm excited for what this upcoming (2011-2012) year will bring. 

I know God has big plans for me this year.  I know I'm gonna make more friends. I know that I'm going to live life overly happy, as I did this year. I know that I can't plan it all out and I have to take life as it comes. I have crazy expectations for 2012. Like turning 16, getting my own car, facing life as it comes like I have for the past 6 years. 


I have a lot to deal with in myself. 
I'm not perfect
I'm not drop dead gorgeous
I'm not the best person ever


I have an attitude,
I have my opinion..
I have my beliefs, 


and through all of this, I have my God. and I guess the biggest thing I've learned this year is that I have to keep trusting God with everything in me.. and stop trying to make what I want happen, and let his plan for my life come into life.


Some days, I wish life were different, I wish I could change a lot of things, and then I get to these days I've been in, where I don't regret a single thing that's happened to me, anything I've been through, because without all that, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I like who I am today. 


I'm ready to turn MY world, MY church and MY life. Up-Side-Down. 


I love you all (:
You make me who I am today.. happy (:


So that's all, until next time that is (;


May God Bless you and your family, and your life. Because chances are, you deserve it. (;


M. (:

"Art"

So-kill me if I never, ever understand this world's perception of "Art". 

 It simply doesn't make sense to me. Can anyone explain this? No. Didn't think so. This world's perception of art is sadly distorted. Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Pieces of twisted metal, it all makes sense, to someone, just not me. Instead, I'd rather see the beauty in the creation of God, the real Art. The Birds, the Sun, the Sky, the Clouds, The Moon.... the flowers. Something so small planted in practically nothing. A little water, a little fertilizer, and something beautiful comes out of nothing. THAT is Art.

This, right here ^ is art. Beauty. Creation.

Music-

For me, Music holds great passion and immense emotion.. 

Just tonight, right now actually, Every song I turn on, I feel my heart literally swell, like it can't take the amount of emotion, and passion and devotion. 

Up until about 3 weeks ago, I was on the fence with music, and by on the fence I mean in denial, My excuses would be "Well, I'm pretty strong and it can't effect me THAT much" or "She's from Disney Channel so it's not THAT bad" and After Senior Camp, I decided that I was done with those artists, those songs, and the people and situations that they uplifted into idols. 

Tonight, I turned on a song from a Disney Channel star, and my heart just didn't feel right, and I realized that that kind of music (unChristian) , because of my passion for music, brought every possible emotion that could get in the way of me and God, out. And into my heart once again.  I don't think people realize how heavy musical emotions weigh on our hearts, bringing the emotions of Hurt, Pain, Loss, Longing, Neediness, Lust, and everything else, just sits there, acting like a tons of bricks to the heart, and unless you realize that, you can and will be trapped under the emotions of music. 

I'm not saying this to convict anyone, or to condemn, but for someone to realize that those are not the emotions God intends to place in your heart, he wants Love, Peace, Joy, Gentleness and the other three fruits of the spirit to be what feeds your soul, not the above mentioned.

So next time that unchristian song comes on, think of the emotion behind it, what does it really mean, what is it bringing into your life, and ask your self, is it worth my relationship with God? 

Just another thought to think; Until next time of course :)

Comments Welcome! 

M. :) 

Revival in Minnesota-

So, this past week (20th-26th) was Family Camp out at Camp Galilee. It was amazing, I got to spend all week with my friends, but most of all, the presence of God was so immensely strong every night at the services, Brother Greg Godwin and Brother Tom Foster from Dallas First Church in Texas split the nights up and spoke, and it was just, powerful. Amazing really. 

So we had a little revival at camp and then we didn't really know what to expect with our own church's come that Sunday morning, "Will it be as amazing as family camp?" "Will it be as powerful?". Well I guess God doesn't these questions, because whenever I ask them, I'm constantly amazed with the results like God's saying "Do you not know what I can do? Do you underestimate me?" And so the service that morning was amazing, and then the night service came, and I will be honest. I wanted to go home and sleep, I wanted to be anywhere BUT church, but then again God said "You must seriously underestimate me."  Prayer started, and I was throwing a little pity party for myself, and so I was late for prayer, and I saw my best friend sitting in the back, now sometime in January of this year she gave up on God, she said it wasn't her religion to believe, so I saw her head bowed and she was whispering quietly, and so I was like "Wanna come sit with me?!" and she was like "Yeah!!" and it shocked me because she hadn't been THAT excited to sit with me in the second pew for a long time, so we were up there and it's still prayer and she started praying with an arm raised, she hadn't raised an arm in church for months, and she was crying and I was like bawling at this point, and she prayed through, and you could tell she was changing a lot of things in her heart, and I was just imensely amazed yet again, and I was like crying off and on the whole time during that service, and someone was like, "You shouldn't be crying for her, you should be rejoicing" Which IS true. But worship and rejoicing is not defined by  dancing, leaping and shouting. Everyone's worship is different, never tell someone to worship in a different way that they do. Just throwing that out there. 

But it was just an amazing week and weekend, and I am continually amazed with God. And I know that it's all jumbled into a rambling mess but I wanted to share this girls testimony about Sunday!!





Just another thought to think; Until next time that is;

Comments Welcome!  ---> God Bless :)

M. :)

I want to leave a legacy-

Almost a year ago, a young lady, about 17, in Burnsville, MN had a little baby girl. She named her Xenella. This baby girl lived, and thrived, and her mom loved her to pieces. Her family loved her to pieces. God's little Angel, sent to earth to keep her mommy company. When this little girl was 8 months old, she stopped breathing during an afternoon nap, this went undetected for about 30 minutes, which as most people know, there's no turning back. But Xenella was on life support for a week, and at exactly a week at 7am, they pulled the plug on her life support. During those seven days, people prayed, and prayed for this baby and her family. God had different plans, but it showed us just how precious lives are, weather it's a little baby girl or boy. Or whether it's a full grown adult. 

2 Weeks ago. A 19 year old girl that went to gateway college of evangelism, in St. Louis, MO, her name was Miranda Donnell, got sick. The doctors had no idea what it was. So they left it undiagnosed. Sunday or Monday night she was brought to the hospital unconscious, (I could be wrong about some little details) . On her facebook wall, friends wrote encouraging messages like "Praying you'll pull through" and "Praying for you!! Love you!!" but when morning came, she passed. If you look at her facebook timeline it all of a sudden had one post that said just this "So sad to hear about the passing of my dear friend Miranda Donnell. But I know God has her in a better place, in better hands." If you look at all the posts on her facebook wall,  you see the timeline, you see the love and prayers being sent her way, and then people started posting stories about how much she meant to them, and how much of an impact she had on their life. And about how she truly has been an inspiration, but is it better hands. 

So many times we pass life by. Not worrying about how we act, or who we meet, and how we treat people. But in those two completely different stories the end result is the same. Two Angels. Passed on to meet Jesus. and two young people, who left such an imprint on the lives of so many people. Too many to count.

When I leave this life, I want to leave a legacy, like my mom, and my grandma, and like a lot of the people I know will. I admire the strength of these people, the hunger and burning passion they have for God, and for people. The love they show daily and the way they impact lives. I'm so blessed to have all of these people in my life, and many more, who have not passed, but have already created a legacy, and sometimes. They need to be told how amazing, and important, and loved they really are. So that life doesn't pass us by so easily. 
 So in memory of these people. Think about your legacy. Think about your reputation. Just think about your life. Because, when the time comes. Your legacy could be great. Remembered for years and years. Or, life could just pass you by.

Life WILL go on.

Often in life stuff happens. Situations that you can't control, situations that you really don't deserve. But It's gonna happen and it's not how it happens, when it happens or why it happens. It's how you handle it when it happens. 

I guess you could say I've been through quite a bit in my life, It's been almost 2 years since by mom passed, and sure. I could look back on it and say "If God loved me this wouldn't have happened." or "I can't trust God" and I could be in pretty bad shape and blame it on the things that have happened to me. 
God has carefully orchestrated every single thing that's happened in your life. He doesn't want you to go through enormous amounts of pain or a million difficult situations that you can't handle, but if he has to, he will. Often times we get caught up in this world and he has to shake us awake. He has to do something to get our attention. It's called tough love. Something you probably experience when you walk away from a good friend who got into some pretty bad things, something your baby experiences when you have to let them cry themselves to sleep. Something that God has to let you go through. But in the midst of everything he has NOT forgotten you. He loves you! Never forget that. Because when you forget that, bitterness makes it way into your life, and that can't happen. I believe at one point in my life I was bitter, I was mad and angry. But once you get past that hurt and pain and bitterness, you're gonna see the sun rise out of the storm. If our lives were all sunshine, and happiness, we would take it for granted, but when a storm comes, and shakes you.  Then it passes, and the sun comes over the horizon, you can easily remember the blessing's God has given you, and even through the trials and tribulations. He still has you in the palm of his hand and He will always be there to catch your fall.
Isaiah 49:16 -" For I have written your name in the palm of my hands."
and also, remember this. It's not how great the fall, or mistake, it's how many times you get back up and move forward. 

Another thought to think, Until next time;

Comments Welcome. :) 


M. :)

If not you. Then who?

My heart is constantly burdened with people. People. No matter who they are. No matter what they look like, or what they do. The people in world are searching for more, ALWAYS searching. Drugs, music, alcohol, ect. But they don't know better, that's what this world has brought them up in.

I'm thankful every day of my life that I know my Savior. That I know the one that DIED on a cross. He was HUNG. for me. The mercy and grace that flows constantly, like a river, that has no end. But where is the world left? There are people, that are so hungry for the message of 'something more'. People that are falling apart and they feel like they can't make it another day. and I'm sitting in Burnsville, Minnesota keeping it to myself. Living my life like I'm the only one that matters. Our generation is very, very selfish. I will always admit the fact that I'm selfish too. The world is HURTING! Where are we in the picture? God SAVED us, to bring light to an oh-so-dark world! I have family, friends and other loved ones that might not make it when the time comes because I didn't make the effort to reach out to them. I couldn't live with myself knowing that there is someone that crossed my path, that didn't hear the message that could save them from their life, or even worse. An eternity in Hell. 

There are people around me, daily. Whose lives are falling apart. They're going through stuff that I could never even think of. and I'm living my life, day by day, hour by hour, and people are literally falling apart before my eyes. Because somehow, they lost sight of an eternity with Jesus. In Heaven. They got caught up in the momentary pleasures of this world, the whole, "It's cool to sin. God will forgive you." thing. That's where we need to come in, remind these people, these FRIENDS, and FAMILY MEMBERS that if they can deny the devil and keep on the straight path towards God, they will have the blessings of God, the Joy of Jesus, and a light brighter than the sun that will change someone elses' life. and even better. an eternity with Jesus himself.

But in closing this update I'll say this.- I know sin, I am a sinner. I'm not perfect, I've made so many mistakes I can't keep count. but even when I fail and falter he's there to catch my fall, and pick me back up again. Because It's not about how great the fall, or how many times you fall. but that you get back up and try again. 

God's gonna do everything he's promised. 

A Sign & A Semi --

Hi, I'm back! It's summer now, so I will hopefully be 'writing' more, no promises, I can only hope (:

So me and my friend Ivy were driving home from church last night, we were on 35w heading towards Burnsville, and while she was talking to me about how some people 'talk the God walk but can't actually walk it' and how people can be so deceiving and such along those lines.  I saw this semi in front of us, and on the back in permanent marker was written '2 Timothy 3:1-5'. I really thought nothing of it, just glanced over it without thought, and we were about to exit off toward my house and she said that's that say?' I simply told her '2 Timothy 3:1-5' and so she was like, 'look that up when you get home and let me know what it says'. So, I get home, kinda forgot about it for awhile, and then bam! it pops in my head!! So I look it up and here's what it says. 

^1-5Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.

I asked her, 'is this a sign or like a 'conformation'? and she at first didn't think it was either. Then after reading it a few times she thought it was a confirmation for us.

But I just thought it was neat. (: 

Just giving you something else to think about.

Comments Welcome (:

M. :)

"Oh, It's no coincidence!"

Okay. So after my two previous posts I just knew I had to post this one. :)

After my prayer and Rally concoctions that God planned out I thought this was great.  We're at church tonight and Pastor Andrews says "Please stand for the reading of the Word of the Lord." and he says "We're gonna turn to 2 Peter 3:10." At that point I did a quadruple take. If you look at my post from after Friday morning prayer you'll see that 2 Peter 3:10 was the exact scripture that set the concoctions in motion on Friday! 

So anyways :) He's preaching away and it's all about what I felt and heard on Friday and he brought up the man in New York who spent his life savings of $140,000 on promotion and advertisement about his idea of the Lord coming back this Saturday (May 21st)  sometime before 6am. And so our church had their share of crazy looks about what this guy was trying to say. So I know me saying that had no specific meaning but I was in my notes from our Pm service. :)


So now I'm just going to share my notes from tonight's message. :)


3 Things that need to happen before Judgement Day:


#1. The Bride must be Ready.  - Rev 19:7
Which basically talks about living a Holy Life, having Holy standards, Holy conversation, ect, ect. 


#2. The Bride must be Compete - Rev 7:9


#3. The Bride must have finished her Task - Matthew 28:19
                                                                               Matthew 24:14
--------------------------------------------------------------
The next part of his sermon was 'How do you Disciple Others?' 


#1. Luke 6:40 "The disciple is not above his master; but everyone that is perfect shall be as his master." 
-Be a Disciple
- "The disciplER, has to continue to be a DisciplEE to ensure growth within churches."


#2. Be an Encourager - Acts 18:23 - Strengthening Disciples - 


   "Never stop encouraging people. Someone could be depressed, sad, lonely, or just down and you're encouraging comment could be the thing that turns their day around. God likes positivity." - Pastor. 


#3. FOLLOW UP! - Acts 14:21
      Pretty self-explanatory.  Make sure you keep people plugged into the church services, church family, and bible studies so that they feel loved and valuable in God's family. 


#4. We ALL have to Teach - " I say this with love to my church family. Whether you're 12, 20 or 200 you HAVE to TEACH!  If you can't teach, you can't be a disciple and if you can't be a disciple your not following the Word of God." - Pastor. - Mark 4:34 - Acts 11:26 - 


#5. Give your life. Give your time. - "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all it's righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." 


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


So that's the end of my note's for that sermon. :) Just a few people I want you - the readers - to pray for if possible. :)


-Friday night after the rally Pastor was on his way back and missed his exit with Sister Andrews, Claire and her friend Kerra and they ended up in Minneapolis by the Washington Street Bridge and a man rear-ended him (nothing serious he just hit the bike rack), the man drove away but Pastor got his license plate # and reported it to the police. As he was waiting for the Police he was standing on the side walk and a man walked up and said "You know you're kind of in a bad area of town." and Pastor replied to the man and explained his situation and the man ended up explaining that he used to be a UPCI Music Minister. and that things happened within his church and it got out of hand and he left. So Pastor has asked the church to pray that this man calls him soon for lunch. He wouldn't give Pastor his name or # but Pastor gave his information so now he's waiting on a call. 


- The Gudry's (Missionaries to Spain, Brother Gudry and his wife, daughter and son)


- Sue. (not sure about her last name) She went to grade school with a family friend and they just re-united a couple of Months ago and our family friend Denise brought her to our church today -She has been giving her bible studies up until today- and she got baptized today, but not the Holy Ghost, so please pray that God works in her life. 


- Special Friend of Mine. She just needs prayer. She's given up on serving God and has made herself clear that it's her mom's church and not her's. My friend Ivy had a vision about her Friday morning (Literally the few minutes I was praying for her in prayer) and a few other people had visions and had her laid on their hearts these last few days. So pray for her, that she would come back to God and understand her potential in Christ. 


- Pastor and Sister Andrews - 


Thanks to all who are praying!!!

Jesus Knows-

You know what's funny but completely planned out? Last night we went to a Rally in Columbia Heights, and Nathan Thompson preached. And he preached about separation and how the warnings and signs that have been passed down from generation and generation have been blurred and changed. and the whole point of the message was that God and sin don't mix and we don't know when he's coming but it's going to be any day/minute and what are we doing to have people ready? Our friends, our family, everyone. What are we doing to show them the truth? We can't save them. But We can show them how to be saved. So in order to show people this we have to be separate from the world. Be cause God and sin don't mix. like Water and Oil. They just don't mix.

This was the most anointed message I've ever heard. By far. Such a REAL message. Not beating around the bush. Just getting to the point and being real. I have high respect for a preacher that completely lets God take control. 

Comments Welcome. As Always.

M. :)

the last one standing -

I have this reoccurring nightmare (not a real dream but my idea of how things could turn out) about my life and where I stand and then where the rest of my youth group stands. 

See here's the thing. More and more lately, left and right, one of the youth will just stop caring about standards. and when you stop caring about standards you don't focus on God. and when you don't focus on God. You loose your way. I feel like life recently has been a game of 'The Last One Standing' like a spiritual game of 'king of the hill'. As with every Friday morning we had prayer at 6am. I wasn't expecting anything different about prayer, the same ol', same ol', Friday prayer service. and I was reading 2 Peter Chapter 3:2-10 



                ' ^1-2 My dear friends, this is now the second time I've written to you, both letters reminders to hold your minds in a state of undistracted attention. Keep in mind what the holy prophets said, and the command of our Master and Savior that was passed on by your apostles.

 ^3-4First off, you need to know that in the last days, mockers are going to have a heyday. Reducing everything to the level of their puny feelings, they'll mock, "So what's happened to the promise of his Coming? Our ancestors are dead and buried, and everything's going on just as it has from the first day of creation. Nothing's changed."

 ^5-7They conveniently forget that long ago all the galaxies and this very planet were brought into existence out of watery chaos by God's word. Then God's word brought the chaos back in a flood that destroyed the world. The current galaxies and earth are fuel for the final fire. God is poised, ready to speak his word again, ready to give the signal for the judgment and destruction of the desecrating skeptics. ^8-9Don't overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn't late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn't want anyone lost. He's giving everyone space and time to change.

 ¹⁰But when the Day of God's Judgment does come, it will be unannounced, like a thief in the night. The sky will collapse with a thunderous bang, everything disintegrating in a huge conflagration, earth and all its works exposed to the scrutiny of Judgment.'

 I was torn up. I had no idea why but my only conclusion was that, God wanted me to read this. So I just started praying. I usually always speak to God as someone that I ask for stuff to or like he can't communicate back but what I realized is that he wants us to TALK to him! (I know it's deep. I should've already comprehended this by now!) He wants to be our best friend. So I just started voicing my concerns and usually there's only 3 people in prayer but 7 showed up today! So God's presence was strong and everyone could feel it. So of course prayer was amazing. God's presence was constantly building, and building, and building and I understood that it's easier to talk with him rather than ask him for things, and beg and plead for things you want.

So in all of this-what I was reading- all I could think of was 'Man knoweth not the day or the hour...' There's a part of me that wants to say 'I can't be around them due to their influence on me' but I also know that when the enemy comes to push you off the hill. Stick together, hold hands, link arms - especially with God- because, there's no guarantee of how long we have to make things right and how long we have, so stay on the hill when people try to pull you down, you fight heck, because there's no guarantee of a tomorrow.

I hope this isn't too jumbled up to understand it! I kept thinking of stuff that wasn't necessary to throw in and what I needed to take out. But I hope that you got my point :)

Comments Welcome. 
God Bless You -Reader-

M. :)

skipping spring for summer :)

I'm SO excited for summer! I've never been this excited. Friends. Family. Camp. Summer :) I just can't wait. Bon Fires, S'mores, Pool, Sun, Tan, Flip Flops, Hopefully Florida by the end of October :) 


I'm pumped. and Incredibly blessed! 


M:)

Love?

So me and my youth group went to a Hutchinson lock-in last night and me and my friend got chit chatting about those people who are so desperate for love and marriage that they make fools of themselves. She was telling me that her mom and her mom's friend were on the phone and they were talking about love and about how if love hadn't found her she would have been fine. She loved life just like it was and she was content with her situation. and her friend was getting mad because her only dream is to get married and the right guy hasn't come along yet, blah, blah blah. We've all heard the 'I want a husband' rant. So we were talking and I was like 'That's why your mom has a husband. She figured out how to make it as a single mom and she embraced life and love just came to her. She didn't track it down and force herself into it!' 

The term 'fall in love' is self explanatory. But for those 'I want a husband' people  they think they have to go out and find love. Whether it be a dating website or something else. 

So let me tell you this. and I think I'm right about this. If you're single. Or a single mom. You have to learn to love yourself. Without a man by your side. You have to embrace the fact that you're strong enough to make it on your own. You have to learn to love your child and your life. and WHEN you can love yourself for who you are. Then God can put the perfect man in your life. He can't give you someone to love like you love yourself if you don't love yourself. 

So learn to love yourself and embrace your life as it is, then God can change it. 

It's a little rambley but it was on my mind. 

He found me, and then, he let me find them :)

Things have changed a lot for me in the past three years. For the good and the bad. but there's a few special people that I'm going to write about today. They probably won't read this for a long time but I feel like writing about them, So I will :)

First, My mom. She was a great woman of God, mother, daughter, wife, and friend. She helped people left and right even when it wasn't necessarily convenient for her. She never really did get the thanks she deserved, even from me. But she was greatly loved but she gets to spend the rest of eternity in complete happiness and bliss. and for that, I am grateful.

Whitney - My twin (or so people think) We look a like we act alike, ect, ect. She's always there. Yes, we fight. But what sisters don't? Exactly. We get over it and it's like it never happened. She'll always be there for me, and for that, I am grateful.

Kelsey - We don't always get along but when we do we have a great time. Shopping or eating or watching movies.  She's always gonna be my sister, and for that, I am grateful.

Natashia (My other sister <3) - I've known her for about five-ish years and at first she was Kelsey's friend, then she was Whitney's, and now she's managed to love me too. Like a sister. I love her so much. She doesn't always get told how appreciated she is but I hope she knows how big of an influence she's been in my life. When I look at her and everything she's been through I see strength, hope and most of all, peace. The peace that only comes from Jesus himself.  She has a vision for Uptown, she is writing a book, she isn't always cheery or put together, but that's how she's perfect. She has accepted the fact that it's okay to not be perfect, as long as your striving for perfection through Jesus. I am truly grateful for my semi-censored/filtered sister :)

Nathan (My brother at heart) - Him and Whitney used to be the closest but I'm glad I've gotten to the part of him where he's a brother and friend to us all. Me, Kelsey and Whitney. He's always willing to sit there and listen to vents or to show you a song he loves. He's not easily swayed by the worlds tactics. He's an picture of strength to me. and For that, I am grateful.

Brenda - The first time I actually hung out with Brenda was about a week after my mom's funeral (09). I had friends, but they weren't super close at the time and It was a rough summer for her so we both felt the peace  and freshness of a new friendship, of starting over. To this day we hang out occasionally, not as much as we used to but we still do. She's been through A LOT yet she still seems to find strength, joy, and happiness through Christ, for that, her testimony and the fact that she's where she is today, I am grateful.

LaKoya Kathrine Reyes - Also my sister :) We met what almost 7 years now? She hasn't had an easy life, but she's still there for the people that mean the most to her. She's always there to listen to your problems when you need her to be. I don't think she understands how much potential she has, I also think she's mildly mis-understood. People don't realize how she didn't grow up in church and that her outside influences are so strong around her. So she's easily swayed. She may be a little crazy, a little stubborn, a little disrespectful but at the same time she's my sister <3 and I feel she just wants to be understood. But for as long as I can remember she's been a friend, and for that, I am grateful.

Angie McGuire :) - I guess you could say my mom raised her mom from the teenage years and up. So me and Angie have been friends since, well, birth. We didn't used to get along. But we do now. and she's always there for me and I hope she knows I'll always be there for her too :) For her, I am truly grateful.

 Ms. Kris Newman/Mom/Teacher/Author/Personal Proof-Reader/Friend - I know she's reading this. So I'm going to talk directly to her :) You've been through a lot in life and you still somehow manage to laugh and smile and make other people laugh, and smile! You're such a great person and teacher and especially a good mom. You deserve the best and I believe that's what God has in store for you. You've made me laugh, smile, understand, and love, so for YOU, I am grateful.  (P.S. I love you! :)

My Momma Julie - Like everyone else in this post, she hasn't had an easy life. But through my eyes I see strength, and family, and most of all Jesus himself. He shines through her. She like my mom and best friend rolled into one. She always lets me vent and when I need advice, I turn to her, because she was 'raised' by the best. She retains the wisdom of many years of learning from my mother and I see it in her every time we talk. She is a great role model of family, love and being a daughter of Christ. For her also, I am grateful! (I plan on sharing this with her, so if you're reading this.  I love you :)

I know God blessed me with these people for a reason. For THEM, I am immensely grateful and blessed :)

As Momma Kris would say 'Thanks God!' :)

Hope you've enjoyed learning about the people that fill all the places in my heart. (Not ALL but a lot of them) 

Bin Laden's dead. What now?

Since this is a national situation, I figured it's a good opportunity to write. I would like to rejoice that Bin Laden is dead. and I started to. and then I saw a comment that a friend made on a post and he said 'why are we rejoicing for the death of a man who had a soul? when God has been trying to teach us forgiveness? We should be at least a little sad that a soul left earth without Jesus.' and that got me thinking. I understand that man has brought a kind of Hell on this Country but I also know that 'all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.' so if Jesus were here in America at this time, leading this Country would he be happy or sad? Would he rejoice or be weary? Because Bin Laden was a human being, I'm not justifying his ways, or what he's done, because it's affected all of our lives. But do we have any right to judge him? Or should we be saying. 'Bin Laden is dead.' and leave the judgement to God?

Proverbs 24: 17-18 has compelled me to go on with my theory. It says this, 'Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.'. Why are we rejoicing? Yes, the enemy has fallen. But God still reigns. and it goes against everything he's taught us to boast and brag about it!

Another friend said "A soul is a soul- and one lost to hell is a tragedy regardless of who it belonged to."

What to write- What to write.

I couldn't think of what I was going to write. But I knew if I didn't write I would end up waiting a few days, then a few more days, and then a few more, and I would never write again. So! I'll write about my experience with God in the car today. 

I watched my little 'niece' today until about 2 o'clock and then I went to CostCo with my dad. Now, generally things were fine. But I just had that BLAH feeling. Ever get that? I didn't know if I was tired or just numb. But we stopped by our house after wards to get something that we had to return to Wal*Mart and so my dad went inside the house to get it. I was sitting in the drivers seat just asking myself, 'What is wrong with you? Life's what you make it so make your day better!' haha so that's what was going through my mind at the time and I just looked up towards God and out loud I said 'God, I don't know what this feeling is, or why I'm feeling this way but God, I don't like it. Please take it from me and help me to make it through the day happy!'

And so I prayed and at the time I was listening to 95.3 Praise Fm. and I turned it up really loud and just sat there with my eyes closed. And the song 'Word of God Speak' came on and I was sitting there singing along without realizing that I was singing along. and this is gonna sound super cliche and I always make fun of the people on KTIS that are like 'This song put tears in my eyes and I seriously felt God! (as their sobbing)' But I seriously felt God so strongly in my car. In a car. the King of Kings met ME in a Car. and I just sat there and sang along. The song ended all too fast, but I was left in a better mood than before. 

Isn't that just awesome!? That someone so amazing had time for ME. When I needed Him, he came to my rescue. Every single day, I'm left in awe of the Creator. 

So, that's what I decided to share. I hope you, the reader, understand that God is ALWAYS there. Right there, when you need him. He hears your cry and he'll give you a peace, love and comfort. 

Well. That's all I've got:) ... for now.

M. 

Friends-

Friends. They consume my mind. Worries, Concerns, Memories, and Laughs. That's what consumes my mind a lot of the time. 

Some say I'm, Stubborn, Crazy, Fun, Annoying, Hard to get along with, Loud, ect. But when I meet a select person, that decides to look past that and actually get to know me. That's when I know I have a true friend. A true friend is someone you can always tell the truth to. No matter what the situation is. A true friend is someone that you can get into a huge fight, and it would be like nothing ever happened. 

True friends are hard to find. But I'll tell you this now, when you find one, do everything you can to make sure they know how much you love and appreciate them. Or else they don't feel loved and appreciated by you. It's like if you love someone, but you never actually tell them how much you love them. How are they supposed to know that you love them and that they mean something to you? Exactly. They wouldn't. 

My advice, is to always, always, always. Tell them the TRUTH! Tell them how you really feel inside! and If they're a real friend they'll understand and tell you the truth and how they feel. Friendships take long hours of conversations and laughs and fun, but when hurt and disappointment come into the picture you can't forget all those things and start attacking them for the things that they didn't know they did wrong. Communication is the key. When things go wrong, don't shut your them out and refuse to talk. 

When I read over this It just seems like a blob of advice. Which it is. But it's MY advice :) That's why I wrote it. So it could possibly help someone that might just happen to be reading this.  and always, always remember, 'No one ever trips on a mountain, but merely on small pebbles on the road way of life.' So it's the little things that will cause the most drama. I can guarentee it. But If you take the advice I've given in this update, t little things won't cause the drama because the little things won't happen in the first place. At least not as often :)


So for a little wrap up remember these things:


Showing them you love them
Communication
Understanding
Taking Breathers
and always believing in them
In the end will help you step over the pebbles instead of trip on them :)
AND you'll have amazing, life long friendships. Not Perfect. But amazing.

Hope you enjoyed this.

M :)

Hello There.

It's been a few days but I felt If I have nothing to write, then don't write random crap that will mean nothing to anyone. So here I am after Easter weekend, still completely in awe of Jesus and all he went through for me. Easter Sunday I went to a friends house and watch 'The Passion of the Christ' and I had never ever seen it before. So we get to the part where they're violently whipping him with the hooks and if you were to look around the room you would have seen a lot of tears from my friends watching it with me. I could only think of the questions going through their head cause I know they were going through mine, How could people do something so terrible? How could they? To someone that was so innocent. To someone with no sin. He was perfect. Perfect. I just simply don't understand it and I never will. 

 When he was on the cross he said "Father forgive them, for they do not know what they have done." He was PERFECT. and he asked his Father to FORGIVE US?! The people WITH sin? I just don't get it. How much love and compassion can one person have. I'm not saying its a bad thing but it's just something that amazes me daily. One day on the streets of Gold. I will ask him why I was worth it. Why me? What did I do to deserve that love and compassion, mercy and grace. Cause I certainly don't understand. My God is SO Awesome.

It's just so hard to comprehend. 'By his stripes, we are healed.'
But, anyways, That's just something I wanted to share. :)


M.

Penetrating the Darkness with an unfailing Light-

So tonight we had our first music concert in Uptown. Now, I was expecting to go, hear songs, and leave like it never happened. But I was wrong. We got there and set up and before they started practicing we had group prayer, and the second we started praying Gods spirit was so tangible it sent shivers down your spine. I knew from then on that it wasn't going to be an ordinary 'Jam Session'. The first half was iffy. People were walking in and out so it was easily distracting. My nanny boy woke up from his nap and I was holding him and trying to get him back to sleep. The group was singing a song and suddenly the Presence of God just flooded the coffeehouse in Uptown.

It was so strong so... Uplifting. To know that in a city where darkness lurks on every corner, alley, and side street, God, he was there in the midst. His light shinning brighter than anything.  Now I don't know what it sounded like from outside the Beat coffee house but inside was uplifting Praise and Honor to the King of Kings! My God is so good! 


Jesus said, "For a brief time still, the light is among you. Walk by the light you have so darkness doesn't destroy you. If you walk in darkness, you don't know where you're going. As you have the light, believe in the light. Then the light will be within you, and shining through your lives. You'll be children of light - John 12:35

I <3 that verse. I hope it brings as much understanding to you, who is reading this, as it does to me.


M. :)

What do you have to lose?

So as I'm sitting in prayer reading The book of Luke Chapter 20-24. The crucifixion of Christ. I looked up at the cross that is hung above our platform in Awe. And all that ran through my head was how much pain it cost him, to save me. Like being hung by his hands with nails through them. How his feet were nailed to the cross. How he had thorns pushed through his head. and I keep picturing the inscription that was on the top of the cross. 'Jesus, King of the Jews'. They inscribed it as mockery towards Jesus, as a joke. Little did they know. He was, and still is.

When Jesus was on the cross there was a criminal who was mocking him, saying that he was crazy, even stupid, and that if he was God, to save them and himself, but the other criminal the one on Jesus' right side, he looked at the man who was mocking Jesus and said to him 'Have you no fear of God? You're getting the same as him. We deserve this, but he did nothing to deserve this.' and then he said 'Jesus,  remember me when you enter your kingdom. '. Personally when I get to Heaven would love to meet this man. He didn't sit there and mock God. He understood the circumstance. He understood Jesus was being killed for nothing, that he did nothing wrong. He understood that he was the Messiah. This man had humility. Which is far more than I can say for most people.

In this jumbled mess of what I have to say, this is what I'm getting at. Why wouldn't people serve a God that died for them? Why wouldn't they Love Him with all of their hearts? What do they have to lose? That's the most puzzling question to me. and I wish badly that I had the answer.  There's a quote that always stuck out to me. It makes the most sense in a senseless world. And it's this. 'I would rather go through life believing there is a God and dying to find out there isn't, than to go through life believing there isn't and dying to find out there is.'

So that's what's been on my mind. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. and I hope I've shed some light on the subject for you :)

There's a first time for everything -

This is my first blog. ever. I've thought about creating one before and the thought of it slipped out of my mind somewhere along the road of life. Some people say I'm good at writing and some people say I'm terrible at it so I guess it's good that I'm not being critiqued. :)

Let me just start by saying a little bit about me. I am saved by God's mercy and grace and through those alone. I have my friends who are my family. I have my church who is also my family. and I have my actual family. I've been through a lot over the years and no matter where life seems to take me, God always brings me back to where I need to be. Am I there? No. Am I working on it? Yes. 

So please don't blame me for not being perfect or not always having the perfect ideas and/or opinions but  read this blog and understand what I stand for and what my opinion about a certain situation after another is. 

A blog is for a bunch of random word vomit that catches you by surprise like thoughts do. So in my blog, I will explore my thoughts of my crazy brain and hopefully get some readers in the process. :)

Enjoy!