"I'm not her. Why can't I be her? She's prettier than me, skinnier than me, she's more loved than I am. She's funny and charismatic or she's quiet and reserved and WHY CAN'T I BE HER?!"
Simple. God didn't make you to be someone else. That would be boring. You would be offering what someone else is offering. There is no market for that.
Over the last year I've gone on my own little "Who Am I?" rampage. I wouldn't say I never knew who I was, but that I wasn't living who I was and how I was called to live. I've always had an opinion, but it was never spoken (okay, maybe it was). I've always cared, but never put much action to it. I've always just had this intense, crazy, passionate love for my friends. They're MY people. But I never knew really just how to express that.
So roughly a year ago, maybe longer, I decided that whatever my ideas were, and my dreams and my rampages and my beliefs... those things were/are a part of me and I need to let those fly.
Now I wouldn't say I'm perfect and completely happy with myself all the time. Because I'm human and no human is.
But I would say I'm content with WHO I am. Just not HOW I am. I think there is an ever changing definition of self satisfaction based on personal "checkpoints" if you will, in life. You come this far, the definition tweaks a bit. You come a little further, it changes again. I wouldn't say that this is unattainable but rather you learn who you want to be and what really matters in life, and you change that definition and keep working towards it.
It actually tends to sadden me, how many people are truly uncomfortable with who they are, how they are, how they look, how they act... all based on someone else's predetermined standard of who they should be.
I don't really know 100% where this post is going, but just incase someone needs to hear it, here it is.
You are great. What you've been through, what you've accomplished. Every fear you've faced and every trial you've had to endure was and is making you into the person that God has made you and called you to be. Please listen to me. You are called to be greater than standing in front of the mirror wishing you were someone else. I hate to break it to you, but ladies, you're never going to be prettier than her or skinnier than her or have her personality! You're just not, because you, are you. Guys, you're never going to be as outgoing or as good looking or as strong or as spiritual as some other guy, because you are not some other guy.
Do not let your personal standard of who you should be, be dictated by the minds and opinions of someone that is not you.
Read you Bible, talk to your Pastor, talk to your Youth Leader. Make goals for yourself and put some action behind them. Be kind, be a GOOD person, and work for who you want to be. But please, do NOT waste another day staring at yourself in the mirror, picturing someone else.
Put your big kid pants on, and figure out who you want to be, where you want to go. Pray about it. Make it happen. and get some one-on-one support from a Godly influence somewhere in-between when you need it.
Good? Good. Go get 'em killa!
