So I went to TJ Maxx and Ikea and I bought new sheets, a new comforter, and a new lamp. After I had a few of the items I wanted to spruce up, I told myself I couldn't take any of it out of the package until I cleaned my room. -_-
Well, about 3 hours later, my room is clean and rearranged and I set up my new lamp and I'm sitting on my bed looking at my room from a different point of view. What comes to mind? Homework. Yeah. I should really be doing that. But something else too.
The thought, that in 5 months, I will graduate. Wait. Like. What? How did that even happen? I remember growing up and wishing so badly to be older and to be treated like a grown up but now I'm thinking I should be careful of what I wish for these days.
Where do I go when I graduate? Where will I work? What on earth am I going to do with my life?
I was in Lane Bryant the other day chatting with one of the employees there and I had mentioned that I needed to find a job and she said "What do you want to do for college?!" That question is just not for me right now. It's currently unanswerable. and I told her that.
She said "Whatever you decide to do... make it a career. Because with a job, every night before work, you think "Ugh. I HAVE to go to work tomorrow" You dread it. You end up hating it after awhile and you'll end up hating yourself for not doing something with your life... A career though? You MAKE time for a career. Being able to do something you love everyday? You make time for that. Follow your passions and let that lead you to the rest of your life." I kind of stood there really just in shock of what she told me.
How do you tell someone that you want to be ordinary? Why do I want to be ordinary, you ask? Because all of those tired, lonely people out in the world, they are ordinary. They don't need someone in a suit preaching at them all day (*note: You NEED a preacher in your life, I am not saying anything on the contrary). What I AM saying is that the people of this world are looking for hope. They need someone dressed in casual clothes, doing casual things with their lives. They need someone like them, to tell them something that they don't know.
They don't need all Sunday morning suits and they don't need you to bombard them with the "Hell Fire and Brimstone"! BE A FRIEND. That is all you have to do. Be a FRIEND to someone who is lost. A good friend, a friend that is the influencER, not the influencEE. Show them how good God has been to you. Live your testimony and I can guarantee, they will want to know what's different about you.
I always thought that Bible College wasn't for me. I've never even been interested. Until she said that. and I thought about the passions that the people of the world follow. Success, money, fame, fortune, health... and I thought... what am I passionate about?
People. I genuinely care about the lives of the people I see everyday. What is waiting for them at the end of the day? Family? Debt? Nothing? I still don't know if Bible College is for me. The thought of moving away completely disinterests me. But Purpose Institute? I could do that. Starting my own business? I could do that. That seems like the most effective way to meet people everyday and be happy about what I'm doing with my life everyday.
I really don't know what is for me right now. I don't even have a clue as to what the future holds. Where I want to go, where I want to take my life, where God will take my life. But how do you walk?
One step at a time.
