and so it is... in my own words.

And so it is, again, that we start another year. But wait... what did we even learn in 2013? Were were successful? Were we happy? How do you gauge success and happiness and growth? Keep reading for my opinion... and if you don't want it, then leave my blog because THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY OPINIONATIONS. 

haha. Totally kidding.... maybe. Looks like you'll never know.

Alright! Moving on... 

Success; The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.

Success in my own words...? Success is a lot of things combined and ultimately, in the end, happiness. The first thing you have to understand about happiness, is that it is a choice. No one can give it to you and no one can take it away. It's a decision you make everyday when you wake up and sometimes have to remind yourself of when you spend a few moments unhappy. Back to success. Success is... making the small goals in life. Honestly. We're not promised tomorrow and It's cool to plan for years and years down the road... but I don't know where I'm going to be five years from now, should the Lord terry and I plan to take life as it comes. Success for me right now in life, is to have a stable prayer life, relationship with God and an active ministry (and to graduate High School). Later in life, success for me will be all three of those first things, but with a degree/career of some sort being used to serve, a beautiful home (this is on my materialistic list... I just want a beautiful home...:) and a family. Since I'm good at that whole motherly thing, I might as well give it a try. :) 

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." - Bill Cosby 

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." - David Brinkley

Growth! How does one measure the depths in which they've changed? Here's my truth about growth. You can look at growth as how far you've come, what you've done and all that you've accomplished from one point to another... but if you faith has been tested, if your boundaries have been pushed, and if you've been through the valley and seen the mountain top, you've grown! Surprise! Congratulations! To me, growth is measured by how you played the hand you were dealt. 

"Learn from your past, set vivid, detailed goals for the near future, and live in the only moment of time in which you have any control; now." Denis Waitley

I've learned a lot of things in twenty thirteen but the greatest of these are the following. 

3) It's okay to say no. What?! No it's not! Someone is depending on me and... yeah. I've heard it all and I've said it all. This may be something I learned this year but learning is continual so that means twenty fourteen is the year to put it to use. Say yes and say no. Know your limits and understand the sky doesn't fall when you finally whisper the one-syllable word that your heart has been longing to speak. Say no enough to stay grounded and say yes enough to grow! 

2) You can't do it all. Wow. These are sounding really depressing. No, they're not. They're long-time coming realizations. Some people have talents and abilities that you don't and some people can do more than others, better than others. It's okay to ask for help, and cheer people on when they do something that they're good at. A little support and encouragement goes a long way, especially, when someone is doing you a favor! 

1) Something I re-realize every year and always know but it's always worth the mention. I am blessed. When I go outside, I have a coat. When I'm hungry, I have access to food. When I'm tired, I have a bed. When I'm weary, I have the Lord. I am blessed. Forever and always blessed. 

Top Ten Things I Recommend for the New Year! (In no particular order)

1) Don't make resolutions. Make goals. Short-term, long-term, however you want to do it. Make lots attainable goals and a few far-fetched goals. Resolutions have a bad rap. It's like saying "I'll try". The word 'try' is a set up for failure. Just do. 

2) Do/wear/say something that it's isn't really your style! Go outside your comfort zone, stick around there for awhile and do so with confidence. Usually, when you do something with confidence people see it as a part of you/your personality and they don't even know that you feel uncomfortable. Just another way to grow. 

3) Do things that scare you! Can't stress this one enough. I've done quite a few things this year that scared me to death (public speaking to name one) and they turned out just fine and guess what! I grew. What?! Yeah, I know. Shocking. 

4) Speak Life. "It costs me nothing to be an encouragement to someone else." - Keith Leaman. Wise words from a wise man, it costs you nothing but a smile or a breath to tell someone that they look nice, or that they have a nice smile, or that Jesus loves them. Guess what. If someone is a stranger, you'll either make their day and a connection, or you'll weird them out and you'll never see them again! Win, win! Right? Be daring.

5) Put on the whole armor of God. This sounds ridiculous, however. Make it your short-term goal to read Ephesians 6 with the rest of your Bible reading every morning to prepare for the day. They say it takes 28 days to make or break a habit, it will shield you from attacks of the enemy, give you strength to speak life and have enough to survive yourself, and it will prepare you to have the boldness to witness knowing that you're 'marching in the Lord's army'. 

6) Laugh. A lot and loudly and proudly. And don't you dare ever stop someone from laughing or making others laugh (unless they're saying bad things about someone or telling a bad joke. Then please, stop them. ;) If you're with a significant other and they enjoy making people laugh and smile, please don't stop them. Making people feel good is a gift that a rare few people have. Let them shine. As for you, laugh as much as possible. If you're the only one that finds it funny, laugh anyways. Who cares. Be crazy and stop caring what other people think of you. Laughing is contagious and it's the best medicine. 

7) Remember: Grace then Truth. Make sure people know that you love them and God loves them before you tell them the truth of the Gospel. Some people aren't ready for the truth and it hurts. But when truth is said in love and the message of grace is sufficiently communicated, the truth is easier to hear/understand. The other reason for this, is to build relationships. Whether or not you meet someone and they come to your church right away or not, when people are around you (given that you're living the right way) they will be hungry for the truth and the peace that you have in your own life. 

8) Praise. In all things, God is worthy, be faithful to Him. "When the sun says "I won't rise", When dark clouds fill my skies, still just know that I, will always give you praise... and when troubles on the way, I will always say, no matter come what may, I'll always give you praise." It in the hard days and the dark days and days when it seems like there's no way out, Praise. There are many examples of Praise bringing freedom in the Bible, so remember that when you're in a pickle and don't know what else to do. Praise. 

9) Read, read, read! I can't stress this enough. I hear that some people 'aren't readers', which I don't understand. I'm seventeen and I have over 100+ of my own books, anyways. Reading is such a stress-relieving, relaxing way to take a break from your own world, and jump into someone else's! Christian (and some non-Christian) fiction is a good choice, along with some other Christian Living books. Come to me for recommendations if you're wanting to start a reading career of your own, I will gladly give them. I like to believe that reading makes you smarter and helps you to understand how to put yourself in the shoes of someone else and understand their situation. 

10) Throw away 5 things a day for the 2 few months of the year. Just find 5 things. Around your house, in the car, in your purse/wallet. Anywhere really. De-cluttering makes cleaning easier and it makes life less stressful! 

Wow. That last one really wasn't inspirational or even helpful really. hahaha. I thought it was a good idea. 

As my last blog post of the year, I just wanted to stay thank you to the few that read and thank you for taking the time to read this REALLY long post. I really hope you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for next year. I may have some more interesting/thought-provoking things to say. Twenty-thirteen has been good to me, God has been good to me. I am greatly blessed and forever thankful. 

Be kind. Speak Life. Serve. Laugh. Choose Happiness.


 Happy New Year to all! :) 

Time flies when you're having... fun? Yeah. Fun :)

It's funny how sometimes you think and even believe that your life is perfect.

Ever had one of those times? You feel like, in that moment, nothing could be better, and if you died right then, you would die happy.

I am fortunate and extremely blessed to have had many of these moments and they all pass far too quickly. and lately I've wondered and often stand amazed at how things change in life, so much, so fast.

2 years ago, around this time I was with a few of the same people baking and laughing and having some Christmas fun and I had one of 'those' moments. Everything was happy and everything was perfect.

But now, 2 years later I am sitting in the very same situation but every time I have one of 'those' moments. It's even sweeter. I sit here at a kitchen table baking Christmas goodies, surrounded by people that are beautiful inside and out and watching my 'mom' decorate her Christmas tree...

I am so happy and I'm just completely at a loss for words with how blessed I am, and I thought I'd share to add to everyone else's Christmas spirit.

My mom passed four years ago and she has... not been replaced, but substituted for the most amazing second mother anyone could ask for. She checks up on me and hugs me and loves on me

like my own mother would and I can't help but to believe that my mom would happy with the substitution that has taken place in her absence. Miss Kimberly is one of the most amazing people I've ever met and an even better 'mom'. :)

And Brenda who doesn't know what I'm actually doing right now. But Brenda is one of the best people I've ever had the privilege to be friends with. She was my friend years ago when no one else was, and even now that I have a few more friends ;) she's part of my crazy little family. Not to say we haven't had our differences... ;) because we have. But I wouldn't change any of it for the world. :) Love you Nanny B!

And Carey and Whitney and Kelsey, I love you all also and I'm super grateful to you for everything as well but I'm getting the stink-eye from Nanny B because she want's me to bake. So that's all.

Merry Christmas folks! Be Happy!

Oh and hey! I probably love you too :)

Really!? Me?!

When someone describes how you make them feel when you're around them and it's not the way you ever intended to make anyone feel, how do you take that? 

I would say if you have any ambitions to be a leader or even a well rounded person; listen to what people have to say about you. No, they're not always right, and you don't always have to change yourself based on their opinion, but if more than one person has the same opinion than them, consider how it could further you, if you changed. 

I don't ever want to come off condescending and intimidating but that's what was described about me, recently. What's worse? That person didn't feel like I was approachable about it because they didn't know how I would take it.

Here's a word for anyone that has something to say to me but is 'intimidated' or 'scared', don't even worry about it. I won't be mad, I won't be hurt or angry. I promise.

I want to be approachable, and honestly? Chances are, you're right, and it's something I'm not seeing about myself and it just takes someone to point it out. I won't be mad or angry, and I want to be the best person I can be, if you can help me with that, then do! 

Odds are, I will probably think more highly of you for speaking what's really on your mind about me. 

Fb, email, text, call, let me know and don't worry about whether I'd be hurt or mad, life is too short to get hung up on things like that. 

My ego can take a bruising every once in awhile. :)

growing up:

growing up is a funny thing. It's not really learning what to do, but when to do it. 

growing up: advancing. developing. preparing. aging. maturing. growing. evolving. 

whatever you choose to call it. here's a reminder of the key points of growing up. 

growing up is knowing when to laugh and remember to never forget to. 

growing up is knowing that revenge is a dish best served cold (but can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil - sorry. Megamind reference haha). 

growing up is knowing that revenge isn't yours to give and knowing that life isn't fair. 

growing up is knowing that the Bible says "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." and can also translate into, if you're watching, listening to, or doing something that you wouldn't let your child watch/listen/do, it's probably wrong. 

growing up is being miles away from home (or feeling like it) but always remembering who and where home is - and that it's okay to feel lost even when you're home, because that tells you that it's yourself you need to find, not home. 

growing up is knowing that a budget doesn't mean you can't spend money, it just tells you where to spend it. 

growing up is knowing that it's okay to go without but sometimes you don't have to. 

growing up is knowing that if you have to question something, you already know the answer. 

growing up is knowing that life is glass half full most of the time, but that the glass half empty days are okay too - and sometimes necessary.

growing up is knowing that it's okay to not be perfect as long as you remember that Christ is perfect and you are to strive after him, not BE Him, which is impossible anyways, we both know you're not perfect. 

growing up is learning to trust God with the things you don't want to and don't know how to. trusting that every day will bring something new and everyday will bring someone new, and that it's your job to be an example and witness to that day and person. 

growing up is learning that someone is always watching you and looking up to you, and how to not let them down. 

growing up doesn't have to be hard, but sometimes we make it hard because we don't like change. change is uncomfortable, unnerving, and scary but almost always necessary. 

growing up is accepting that things change. I'm still working on that one. 

Welcoming the Pain

Most don't like pain. 
It's uncomfortable. It hurts. It comes out of no where to make you wish something had never happened.

Emotional pain. Physical pain. Mental pain. 

Pain can be miserable. But often, without pain, we wouldn't know what to fix. Without pain, we wouldn't know where we're broken, we wouldn't know how or when we're made whole again. 

I don't like medications for a simple reason, they block all pain so that you cannot feel so that you don't know where the pain is, but you'll always know what caused the pain and that will cause you more pain. You can forget and block the right now pain, but the point and time of impact will do more damage. 

Here in this life I don't wish to be pain free. I wish to be resilient. I wish to be stronger. I wish to be able to ignore it. But I don't wish to be pain free. A day will come with no more pain. No more tears. No more brokenness. But today? I wish to feel the pain. I wish to find whats broken and strive to find something bigger than that pain that I can lean on and believe on. Something bigger than me and bigger than you. I wish for something that can take the pain away forever and someday He will. If today is not my day, if today I am not made whole, if today I don't get my miracle... if today, I feel pain, that gives me an even greater hope and longing for the day when he truly makes me whole. 

I like pain. I welcome the pain. Maybe I'm weird, maybe I'm different. But while I'm here in my brokenness I want to look back and say "yeah, that's where my pain started" and be able to come to terms with that situation. 

1 Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you."

If my pain today brings me to a better tomorrow, then I will say hello to the pain and welcome it. Jesus is all I need. He will make me whole when the time comes. Goodbye will come when it comes, but for today, hope and faith is all I need.  

We Speak

We all speak of loss like we know. 

Like we know the feeling when a parent dies. or a cousin. or a sibling. 

Like we know the pain of seeing a tornado or a hurricane rip away our house and/or our family members.

Like we know the sting of the pain of divorce or adultery or any other kind of pain for that matter. 

We act like we know. But do we? So often we comfort people by saying "I know it's hard" "I wish I knew what to do or say"... but we don't. We don't find the words because we can't. 

Until it happens to you, you cannot fathom that kind of loss. That kind of hurt. 

I'm gonna be completely honest here: 

These tornadoes in Oklahoma recently, have made me realize just how blessed I truly am. How blessed I am to have a home and a family and a dentist and food on the table; random things that I am completely grateful for in life, because honestly, most people aren't as fortunate as me. 

Here's one of my biggest pet peeves. Someone who has it all. Parents, friends, family, everything they want. Yet they complain about little things in their everyday life like it actually matters. Those people that have never had anything bad happen to them. Those people that make me so incredibly jealous because honestly, their worst day is probably my best. 

I honestly struggle with that one sometimes. I'm like "God, why are they complaining. Why do they get to have a perfect life and complain about the small things that they didn't get or that didn't work out. I mean seriously, If they ever spent one day inside my pain... they would know." Aaannd I get checked right there. Some people honestly couldn't handle what I've been through. Some people would fall apart, and that's why I got chosen for it. There is a method to the madness. There is a reason for the pain in life, especially mine, and although I can't tell you what it is, but knowing that there is a reason, gets me through tomorrow. 

If we didn't have pain, we wouldn't know what broke and we wouldn't know how to fix it. 

Pain is there for a reason. 

Pain is there to remind us when we forget. Pain is there so that we never take another moment for granted, so that we say 'I love you' in every conversation. So that we cherish every single moment with our friends and our families and laugh ridiculously at everything for no reason because life is too short to play games and be unhappy and be ungrateful. 

If you have parents and siblings and a place to live and food on your table and a bed to sleep in every night, start counting your blessings because in all honesty... it could be gone in a single moment. 

I ran across this a long time ago and it sums it up perfectly. 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once, and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt,

because every sixty seconds you spend upset

is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,

be afraid that it will never begin.

- Anonymous Author

Stay happy, stay humble, stay grateful.

Paid in Full

 There's an array of things to write about, but I honestly couldn't decide. Someone called me a great 'writer' but I am surely not worthy of that title. Rambler? Maybe.  But I thought again, maybe that's why I can't decide what to write about. I've thought since my last post, "Hm, what should I write?" and I even had a few good ideas. But none of them were it. I didn't feel the release to really write! Then, I saw this news cast about selling body parts for money. Hair - Blood - Women's reproductive eggs (weird as it sounds, very true.) - You can sell it all. 

That got me thinking.

Buy. Sell. Repeat. 

You're able to sell your car, your house, your phone, your TV, your time... You can sell it all. But today, it's not enough.

Material is no good. Not anymore. Every teen feels this dire need to rebel. To rebel in such a way that would show their parents, their friends, and even God how truly mature they are and how they can make decisions for themselves. That they cannot be controlled.

Rules? Who needs those? They can't tell me how to live.

To sell my body; to alcohol, to drugs, to men... that would show them.

What price is the world willing to pay though? And what exactly is the price for your body? Your soul?

A thousand dollars for your good nurtured pony tail? Thirty to fifty dollars for some of your blood? 

**Disclaimer: I'm not saying don't sell your blood. It's good, it saves lives. I'm just making a point.**

But what about His blood?

That's just it. Me, me, me. This world has given you the complicated illusion that your body is yours. That everything you have, is yours. But it's not.

1 Corinthians 6:20 "You were bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body and your spirit, which are God's."

He died for you. He put nails in his hands and his feet. But apparently that's just not enough.

Honestly, I don't think I know of anyone here on earth that would say, "Yeah, torture me. Let me bleed to death. Take my life. Because she/he is worth it."

It might not be yours, but you can control it. Your beauty. Your talent. Your time. Your soul, is worth it, to Him.

Don't sell yourself short. Don't sell yourself to drugs. Don't sell yourself to alcohol. Don't sell yourself to men. Don't sell yourself to music. Don't sell yourself to Hell and it's inhabitants! Just don't do it! He paid far too much for you to give yourself away to something that will never love you to the extent that He loves you; to something that will never ever love you to begin with.

He is willing and ready to give you that love. He'll leave the 99 for you. He takes the 99 steps. You take the 1.  Simplicity is the beauty of his love. 

Everything else is beyond that one simple choice.

simplicity. love. commitment. forever.

Happy Spring! Now go clean. :)

It's April now. You know what that means. Yep, Spring cleaning.

It's name and representation is fitting. That time of year when everything in you longs for a new start. Maybe you consume yourself with believing that spring cleaning really only concerns your house... or maybe you're the person that believes that it's all about finding the new you. Or possibly even the person that thinks everything is fine just the way it is. 

Or maybe you're none of those. 

I'm the type of person that has pictures everywhere. I kid you not, everywhere, they're all over my room. Pictures of good times. Pictures of happy memories that can take me into another world, with one glance. It's amazing how much things change over the years. 

But suddenly I've gotten this urge to Spring Clean. To clean out my closet, to maybe actually vacuum my room for a change... and, yes, to replace some of those pictures. You see, most of those pictures are happy memories, and they can bring me back to happy times in life, where everything was great, and peachy. But lately, I look at them wondering where the people in the photo's have gone. What path did they take after that picture, where did they go, what did they see, how do they live?

But some of them, remind me of change. The uncomfortable kind of change that makes your heart ache. It makes your heart ache because nothing is the same, those people, those places, those memories, are gone. The most gut wrenching thing ever, for me. 

Thinking about that changing, reminds me of myself. Where have I been? Where have I gone? What have I seen? Am I still me? Did I change too?

All of these questions usually lie there, unanswered. Maybe I don't want to face any of those questions, maybe no one does. Because everyone's past, good or bad, brings regret. Did I spend enough time with that person? Did I ruin the night because I was crabby? Did I miss out on something that will never come back around again? Did I take too much for granted?

Because people change, and life changes, and sometimes, it's not for the better... or so you think. But sometimes, in what you think is a bad change, a gut wrenching change, is something that is bringing you to a greater tomorrow. 

Maybe you were better off without that person. Maybe you were meant to take some things for grated. Because every decision you make, every thing you do, everything you are, changes everyday, and all of those things, define who you are. 

Integrity is what you do when no one is watching... but what about when people are watching?

What do you do in the grocery store, how do you react to the small things gone wrong in life? People are watching you everywhere. Are you alert and smiling when you approach the cashier? Are you walking around the store on your phone gossiping about the latest newsworthy event in the lives of the people you 'love'? Are you conscious of these things?

I'm a cashier, and I see a couple hundred customers a day. This has changed how I act in a store. How I act towards a cashier, how my mood is, am I smiling, am I friendly? 

Let me clue you in on one thing. It makes me incredibly happy at work to have a nice, friendly, present customer at my register. Living in the moment, not on their phone, not in a 'get me out of here', crabby mood. Just there. 

Yes, integrity is important. But so is living in the moment. 

If I were to challenge you to Spring Clean something in your life, that would be it. 

If I were to tell you that the cashier you saw that day, was sad after you left the counter because of the void in your eyes? Or that the very same cashier was put in a bad mood because you were on your phone, and not paying attention at all to what you were doing, or because you were just out-right rude? 

Would all of that make you think twice? Good. I hope it does. Live in the moment. Be happy. Be contagious. Make cheesy jokes about the weather. Make cheesy jokes about anything really. Just be there.

It makes people's day, I promise. :)

When you Spring Clean your house, I hope you take a second and spring clean you. Spring clean everything that people see. Don't hide it, take care of it. Take that rug you sweep everything under, and throw in the trash. Work on being present, and not gossiping, and being friendly to perfect strangers. You will be better for it.

Happy Spring! Now go clean. :)