and so it is... in my own words.

And so it is, again, that we start another year. But wait... what did we even learn in 2013? Were were successful? Were we happy? How do you gauge success and happiness and growth? Keep reading for my opinion... and if you don't want it, then leave my blog because THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT ME AND MY OPINIONATIONS. 

haha. Totally kidding.... maybe. Looks like you'll never know.

Alright! Moving on... 

Success; The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.

Success in my own words...? Success is a lot of things combined and ultimately, in the end, happiness. The first thing you have to understand about happiness, is that it is a choice. No one can give it to you and no one can take it away. It's a decision you make everyday when you wake up and sometimes have to remind yourself of when you spend a few moments unhappy. Back to success. Success is... making the small goals in life. Honestly. We're not promised tomorrow and It's cool to plan for years and years down the road... but I don't know where I'm going to be five years from now, should the Lord terry and I plan to take life as it comes. Success for me right now in life, is to have a stable prayer life, relationship with God and an active ministry (and to graduate High School). Later in life, success for me will be all three of those first things, but with a degree/career of some sort being used to serve, a beautiful home (this is on my materialistic list... I just want a beautiful home...:) and a family. Since I'm good at that whole motherly thing, I might as well give it a try. :) 

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure." - Bill Cosby 

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." - David Brinkley

Growth! How does one measure the depths in which they've changed? Here's my truth about growth. You can look at growth as how far you've come, what you've done and all that you've accomplished from one point to another... but if you faith has been tested, if your boundaries have been pushed, and if you've been through the valley and seen the mountain top, you've grown! Surprise! Congratulations! To me, growth is measured by how you played the hand you were dealt. 

"Learn from your past, set vivid, detailed goals for the near future, and live in the only moment of time in which you have any control; now." Denis Waitley

I've learned a lot of things in twenty thirteen but the greatest of these are the following. 

3) It's okay to say no. What?! No it's not! Someone is depending on me and... yeah. I've heard it all and I've said it all. This may be something I learned this year but learning is continual so that means twenty fourteen is the year to put it to use. Say yes and say no. Know your limits and understand the sky doesn't fall when you finally whisper the one-syllable word that your heart has been longing to speak. Say no enough to stay grounded and say yes enough to grow! 

2) You can't do it all. Wow. These are sounding really depressing. No, they're not. They're long-time coming realizations. Some people have talents and abilities that you don't and some people can do more than others, better than others. It's okay to ask for help, and cheer people on when they do something that they're good at. A little support and encouragement goes a long way, especially, when someone is doing you a favor! 

1) Something I re-realize every year and always know but it's always worth the mention. I am blessed. When I go outside, I have a coat. When I'm hungry, I have access to food. When I'm tired, I have a bed. When I'm weary, I have the Lord. I am blessed. Forever and always blessed. 

Top Ten Things I Recommend for the New Year! (In no particular order)

1) Don't make resolutions. Make goals. Short-term, long-term, however you want to do it. Make lots attainable goals and a few far-fetched goals. Resolutions have a bad rap. It's like saying "I'll try". The word 'try' is a set up for failure. Just do. 

2) Do/wear/say something that it's isn't really your style! Go outside your comfort zone, stick around there for awhile and do so with confidence. Usually, when you do something with confidence people see it as a part of you/your personality and they don't even know that you feel uncomfortable. Just another way to grow. 

3) Do things that scare you! Can't stress this one enough. I've done quite a few things this year that scared me to death (public speaking to name one) and they turned out just fine and guess what! I grew. What?! Yeah, I know. Shocking. 

4) Speak Life. "It costs me nothing to be an encouragement to someone else." - Keith Leaman. Wise words from a wise man, it costs you nothing but a smile or a breath to tell someone that they look nice, or that they have a nice smile, or that Jesus loves them. Guess what. If someone is a stranger, you'll either make their day and a connection, or you'll weird them out and you'll never see them again! Win, win! Right? Be daring.

5) Put on the whole armor of God. This sounds ridiculous, however. Make it your short-term goal to read Ephesians 6 with the rest of your Bible reading every morning to prepare for the day. They say it takes 28 days to make or break a habit, it will shield you from attacks of the enemy, give you strength to speak life and have enough to survive yourself, and it will prepare you to have the boldness to witness knowing that you're 'marching in the Lord's army'. 

6) Laugh. A lot and loudly and proudly. And don't you dare ever stop someone from laughing or making others laugh (unless they're saying bad things about someone or telling a bad joke. Then please, stop them. ;) If you're with a significant other and they enjoy making people laugh and smile, please don't stop them. Making people feel good is a gift that a rare few people have. Let them shine. As for you, laugh as much as possible. If you're the only one that finds it funny, laugh anyways. Who cares. Be crazy and stop caring what other people think of you. Laughing is contagious and it's the best medicine. 

7) Remember: Grace then Truth. Make sure people know that you love them and God loves them before you tell them the truth of the Gospel. Some people aren't ready for the truth and it hurts. But when truth is said in love and the message of grace is sufficiently communicated, the truth is easier to hear/understand. The other reason for this, is to build relationships. Whether or not you meet someone and they come to your church right away or not, when people are around you (given that you're living the right way) they will be hungry for the truth and the peace that you have in your own life. 

8) Praise. In all things, God is worthy, be faithful to Him. "When the sun says "I won't rise", When dark clouds fill my skies, still just know that I, will always give you praise... and when troubles on the way, I will always say, no matter come what may, I'll always give you praise." It in the hard days and the dark days and days when it seems like there's no way out, Praise. There are many examples of Praise bringing freedom in the Bible, so remember that when you're in a pickle and don't know what else to do. Praise. 

9) Read, read, read! I can't stress this enough. I hear that some people 'aren't readers', which I don't understand. I'm seventeen and I have over 100+ of my own books, anyways. Reading is such a stress-relieving, relaxing way to take a break from your own world, and jump into someone else's! Christian (and some non-Christian) fiction is a good choice, along with some other Christian Living books. Come to me for recommendations if you're wanting to start a reading career of your own, I will gladly give them. I like to believe that reading makes you smarter and helps you to understand how to put yourself in the shoes of someone else and understand their situation. 

10) Throw away 5 things a day for the 2 few months of the year. Just find 5 things. Around your house, in the car, in your purse/wallet. Anywhere really. De-cluttering makes cleaning easier and it makes life less stressful! 

Wow. That last one really wasn't inspirational or even helpful really. hahaha. I thought it was a good idea. 

As my last blog post of the year, I just wanted to stay thank you to the few that read and thank you for taking the time to read this REALLY long post. I really hope you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for next year. I may have some more interesting/thought-provoking things to say. Twenty-thirteen has been good to me, God has been good to me. I am greatly blessed and forever thankful. 

Be kind. Speak Life. Serve. Laugh. Choose Happiness.


 Happy New Year to all! :) 

Time flies when you're having... fun? Yeah. Fun :)

It's funny how sometimes you think and even believe that your life is perfect.

Ever had one of those times? You feel like, in that moment, nothing could be better, and if you died right then, you would die happy.

I am fortunate and extremely blessed to have had many of these moments and they all pass far too quickly. and lately I've wondered and often stand amazed at how things change in life, so much, so fast.

2 years ago, around this time I was with a few of the same people baking and laughing and having some Christmas fun and I had one of 'those' moments. Everything was happy and everything was perfect.

But now, 2 years later I am sitting in the very same situation but every time I have one of 'those' moments. It's even sweeter. I sit here at a kitchen table baking Christmas goodies, surrounded by people that are beautiful inside and out and watching my 'mom' decorate her Christmas tree...

I am so happy and I'm just completely at a loss for words with how blessed I am, and I thought I'd share to add to everyone else's Christmas spirit.

My mom passed four years ago and she has... not been replaced, but substituted for the most amazing second mother anyone could ask for. She checks up on me and hugs me and loves on me

like my own mother would and I can't help but to believe that my mom would happy with the substitution that has taken place in her absence. Miss Kimberly is one of the most amazing people I've ever met and an even better 'mom'. :)

And Brenda who doesn't know what I'm actually doing right now. But Brenda is one of the best people I've ever had the privilege to be friends with. She was my friend years ago when no one else was, and even now that I have a few more friends ;) she's part of my crazy little family. Not to say we haven't had our differences... ;) because we have. But I wouldn't change any of it for the world. :) Love you Nanny B!

And Carey and Whitney and Kelsey, I love you all also and I'm super grateful to you for everything as well but I'm getting the stink-eye from Nanny B because she want's me to bake. So that's all.

Merry Christmas folks! Be Happy!

Oh and hey! I probably love you too :)

Really!? Me?!

When someone describes how you make them feel when you're around them and it's not the way you ever intended to make anyone feel, how do you take that? 

I would say if you have any ambitions to be a leader or even a well rounded person; listen to what people have to say about you. No, they're not always right, and you don't always have to change yourself based on their opinion, but if more than one person has the same opinion than them, consider how it could further you, if you changed. 

I don't ever want to come off condescending and intimidating but that's what was described about me, recently. What's worse? That person didn't feel like I was approachable about it because they didn't know how I would take it.

Here's a word for anyone that has something to say to me but is 'intimidated' or 'scared', don't even worry about it. I won't be mad, I won't be hurt or angry. I promise.

I want to be approachable, and honestly? Chances are, you're right, and it's something I'm not seeing about myself and it just takes someone to point it out. I won't be mad or angry, and I want to be the best person I can be, if you can help me with that, then do! 

Odds are, I will probably think more highly of you for speaking what's really on your mind about me. 

Fb, email, text, call, let me know and don't worry about whether I'd be hurt or mad, life is too short to get hung up on things like that. 

My ego can take a bruising every once in awhile. :)

growing up:

growing up is a funny thing. It's not really learning what to do, but when to do it. 

growing up: advancing. developing. preparing. aging. maturing. growing. evolving. 

whatever you choose to call it. here's a reminder of the key points of growing up. 

growing up is knowing when to laugh and remember to never forget to. 

growing up is knowing that revenge is a dish best served cold (but can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil - sorry. Megamind reference haha). 

growing up is knowing that revenge isn't yours to give and knowing that life isn't fair. 

growing up is knowing that the Bible says "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." and can also translate into, if you're watching, listening to, or doing something that you wouldn't let your child watch/listen/do, it's probably wrong. 

growing up is being miles away from home (or feeling like it) but always remembering who and where home is - and that it's okay to feel lost even when you're home, because that tells you that it's yourself you need to find, not home. 

growing up is knowing that a budget doesn't mean you can't spend money, it just tells you where to spend it. 

growing up is knowing that it's okay to go without but sometimes you don't have to. 

growing up is knowing that if you have to question something, you already know the answer. 

growing up is knowing that life is glass half full most of the time, but that the glass half empty days are okay too - and sometimes necessary.

growing up is knowing that it's okay to not be perfect as long as you remember that Christ is perfect and you are to strive after him, not BE Him, which is impossible anyways, we both know you're not perfect. 

growing up is learning to trust God with the things you don't want to and don't know how to. trusting that every day will bring something new and everyday will bring someone new, and that it's your job to be an example and witness to that day and person. 

growing up is learning that someone is always watching you and looking up to you, and how to not let them down. 

growing up doesn't have to be hard, but sometimes we make it hard because we don't like change. change is uncomfortable, unnerving, and scary but almost always necessary. 

growing up is accepting that things change. I'm still working on that one. 

Welcoming the Pain

Most don't like pain. 
It's uncomfortable. It hurts. It comes out of no where to make you wish something had never happened.

Emotional pain. Physical pain. Mental pain. 

Pain can be miserable. But often, without pain, we wouldn't know what to fix. Without pain, we wouldn't know where we're broken, we wouldn't know how or when we're made whole again. 

I don't like medications for a simple reason, they block all pain so that you cannot feel so that you don't know where the pain is, but you'll always know what caused the pain and that will cause you more pain. You can forget and block the right now pain, but the point and time of impact will do more damage. 

Here in this life I don't wish to be pain free. I wish to be resilient. I wish to be stronger. I wish to be able to ignore it. But I don't wish to be pain free. A day will come with no more pain. No more tears. No more brokenness. But today? I wish to feel the pain. I wish to find whats broken and strive to find something bigger than that pain that I can lean on and believe on. Something bigger than me and bigger than you. I wish for something that can take the pain away forever and someday He will. If today is not my day, if today I am not made whole, if today I don't get my miracle... if today, I feel pain, that gives me an even greater hope and longing for the day when he truly makes me whole. 

I like pain. I welcome the pain. Maybe I'm weird, maybe I'm different. But while I'm here in my brokenness I want to look back and say "yeah, that's where my pain started" and be able to come to terms with that situation. 

1 Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you."

If my pain today brings me to a better tomorrow, then I will say hello to the pain and welcome it. Jesus is all I need. He will make me whole when the time comes. Goodbye will come when it comes, but for today, hope and faith is all I need.  

We Speak

We all speak of loss like we know. 

Like we know the feeling when a parent dies. or a cousin. or a sibling. 

Like we know the pain of seeing a tornado or a hurricane rip away our house and/or our family members.

Like we know the sting of the pain of divorce or adultery or any other kind of pain for that matter. 

We act like we know. But do we? So often we comfort people by saying "I know it's hard" "I wish I knew what to do or say"... but we don't. We don't find the words because we can't. 

Until it happens to you, you cannot fathom that kind of loss. That kind of hurt. 

I'm gonna be completely honest here: 

These tornadoes in Oklahoma recently, have made me realize just how blessed I truly am. How blessed I am to have a home and a family and a dentist and food on the table; random things that I am completely grateful for in life, because honestly, most people aren't as fortunate as me. 

Here's one of my biggest pet peeves. Someone who has it all. Parents, friends, family, everything they want. Yet they complain about little things in their everyday life like it actually matters. Those people that have never had anything bad happen to them. Those people that make me so incredibly jealous because honestly, their worst day is probably my best. 

I honestly struggle with that one sometimes. I'm like "God, why are they complaining. Why do they get to have a perfect life and complain about the small things that they didn't get or that didn't work out. I mean seriously, If they ever spent one day inside my pain... they would know." Aaannd I get checked right there. Some people honestly couldn't handle what I've been through. Some people would fall apart, and that's why I got chosen for it. There is a method to the madness. There is a reason for the pain in life, especially mine, and although I can't tell you what it is, but knowing that there is a reason, gets me through tomorrow. 

If we didn't have pain, we wouldn't know what broke and we wouldn't know how to fix it. 

Pain is there for a reason. 

Pain is there to remind us when we forget. Pain is there so that we never take another moment for granted, so that we say 'I love you' in every conversation. So that we cherish every single moment with our friends and our families and laugh ridiculously at everything for no reason because life is too short to play games and be unhappy and be ungrateful. 

If you have parents and siblings and a place to live and food on your table and a bed to sleep in every night, start counting your blessings because in all honesty... it could be gone in a single moment. 

I ran across this a long time ago and it sums it up perfectly. 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down, probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once, and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt,

because every sixty seconds you spend upset

is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,

be afraid that it will never begin.

- Anonymous Author

Stay happy, stay humble, stay grateful.

Paid in Full

 There's an array of things to write about, but I honestly couldn't decide. Someone called me a great 'writer' but I am surely not worthy of that title. Rambler? Maybe.  But I thought again, maybe that's why I can't decide what to write about. I've thought since my last post, "Hm, what should I write?" and I even had a few good ideas. But none of them were it. I didn't feel the release to really write! Then, I saw this news cast about selling body parts for money. Hair - Blood - Women's reproductive eggs (weird as it sounds, very true.) - You can sell it all. 

That got me thinking.

Buy. Sell. Repeat. 

You're able to sell your car, your house, your phone, your TV, your time... You can sell it all. But today, it's not enough.

Material is no good. Not anymore. Every teen feels this dire need to rebel. To rebel in such a way that would show their parents, their friends, and even God how truly mature they are and how they can make decisions for themselves. That they cannot be controlled.

Rules? Who needs those? They can't tell me how to live.

To sell my body; to alcohol, to drugs, to men... that would show them.

What price is the world willing to pay though? And what exactly is the price for your body? Your soul?

A thousand dollars for your good nurtured pony tail? Thirty to fifty dollars for some of your blood? 

**Disclaimer: I'm not saying don't sell your blood. It's good, it saves lives. I'm just making a point.**

But what about His blood?

That's just it. Me, me, me. This world has given you the complicated illusion that your body is yours. That everything you have, is yours. But it's not.

1 Corinthians 6:20 "You were bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body and your spirit, which are God's."

He died for you. He put nails in his hands and his feet. But apparently that's just not enough.

Honestly, I don't think I know of anyone here on earth that would say, "Yeah, torture me. Let me bleed to death. Take my life. Because she/he is worth it."

It might not be yours, but you can control it. Your beauty. Your talent. Your time. Your soul, is worth it, to Him.

Don't sell yourself short. Don't sell yourself to drugs. Don't sell yourself to alcohol. Don't sell yourself to men. Don't sell yourself to music. Don't sell yourself to Hell and it's inhabitants! Just don't do it! He paid far too much for you to give yourself away to something that will never love you to the extent that He loves you; to something that will never ever love you to begin with.

He is willing and ready to give you that love. He'll leave the 99 for you. He takes the 99 steps. You take the 1.  Simplicity is the beauty of his love. 

Everything else is beyond that one simple choice.

simplicity. love. commitment. forever.

Happy Spring! Now go clean. :)

It's April now. You know what that means. Yep, Spring cleaning.

It's name and representation is fitting. That time of year when everything in you longs for a new start. Maybe you consume yourself with believing that spring cleaning really only concerns your house... or maybe you're the person that believes that it's all about finding the new you. Or possibly even the person that thinks everything is fine just the way it is. 

Or maybe you're none of those. 

I'm the type of person that has pictures everywhere. I kid you not, everywhere, they're all over my room. Pictures of good times. Pictures of happy memories that can take me into another world, with one glance. It's amazing how much things change over the years. 

But suddenly I've gotten this urge to Spring Clean. To clean out my closet, to maybe actually vacuum my room for a change... and, yes, to replace some of those pictures. You see, most of those pictures are happy memories, and they can bring me back to happy times in life, where everything was great, and peachy. But lately, I look at them wondering where the people in the photo's have gone. What path did they take after that picture, where did they go, what did they see, how do they live?

But some of them, remind me of change. The uncomfortable kind of change that makes your heart ache. It makes your heart ache because nothing is the same, those people, those places, those memories, are gone. The most gut wrenching thing ever, for me. 

Thinking about that changing, reminds me of myself. Where have I been? Where have I gone? What have I seen? Am I still me? Did I change too?

All of these questions usually lie there, unanswered. Maybe I don't want to face any of those questions, maybe no one does. Because everyone's past, good or bad, brings regret. Did I spend enough time with that person? Did I ruin the night because I was crabby? Did I miss out on something that will never come back around again? Did I take too much for granted?

Because people change, and life changes, and sometimes, it's not for the better... or so you think. But sometimes, in what you think is a bad change, a gut wrenching change, is something that is bringing you to a greater tomorrow. 

Maybe you were better off without that person. Maybe you were meant to take some things for grated. Because every decision you make, every thing you do, everything you are, changes everyday, and all of those things, define who you are. 

Integrity is what you do when no one is watching... but what about when people are watching?

What do you do in the grocery store, how do you react to the small things gone wrong in life? People are watching you everywhere. Are you alert and smiling when you approach the cashier? Are you walking around the store on your phone gossiping about the latest newsworthy event in the lives of the people you 'love'? Are you conscious of these things?

I'm a cashier, and I see a couple hundred customers a day. This has changed how I act in a store. How I act towards a cashier, how my mood is, am I smiling, am I friendly? 

Let me clue you in on one thing. It makes me incredibly happy at work to have a nice, friendly, present customer at my register. Living in the moment, not on their phone, not in a 'get me out of here', crabby mood. Just there. 

Yes, integrity is important. But so is living in the moment. 

If I were to challenge you to Spring Clean something in your life, that would be it. 

If I were to tell you that the cashier you saw that day, was sad after you left the counter because of the void in your eyes? Or that the very same cashier was put in a bad mood because you were on your phone, and not paying attention at all to what you were doing, or because you were just out-right rude? 

Would all of that make you think twice? Good. I hope it does. Live in the moment. Be happy. Be contagious. Make cheesy jokes about the weather. Make cheesy jokes about anything really. Just be there.

It makes people's day, I promise. :)

When you Spring Clean your house, I hope you take a second and spring clean you. Spring clean everything that people see. Don't hide it, take care of it. Take that rug you sweep everything under, and throw in the trash. Work on being present, and not gossiping, and being friendly to perfect strangers. You will be better for it.

Happy Spring! Now go clean. :)

  




 

Consistency is Key-

As I sit here in my room tonight, I'm reminded of the faithfulness of Jesus. 

I did my little daily devo, my daily prayer and my bible reading and one thing is evident. He is speaking right to me. In church services, In prayer, In devotions. It's amazing really, all it takes from you (and me) Is one simple admission and question. "God, I can't make it through without you.. and I need you today. I need you to show me yourself, I need you to speak to me and I need you to touch me. It's the only way I will make it." Once you say this, he can't help but come running to you. His child. His precious one wants to meet with him. Wants to be changed by him. Wants to love him.

You see, this is an offer he can't refuse. (Matt. 7:7 - "Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking and it will be opened unto you. (NLT)" The key words here are KEEP ON asking. KEEP ON seeking. KEEP ON knocking. When you KEEP ON. Keeping on, is consistency.

Where you show consistency, that's where your heart lies. If you show consistency to your favorite tv show, your favorite band, and your favorite friends - of which you know are bad  for you- you will reap the sorrow that comes with those choices, because these are not the things your heart should long for and show consistency towards. When you show consistency to your Bible -contrary to popular belief, your Bible is not there to collect dust.- When you show consistency to church attendance -and not just sitting in the pew and clapping on beat (or off beat), a real, authentic, Holy Ghost, GOD experience.- When you show consistency to Godly friends. When you show consistency to true, BIBLICAL standards, and When you show consistency to tithing to the Kingdom of God, your heart truly lies with Jesus and His Kingdom. Then, he can use you.

Then, he can work through you.

Then, you can be changed. 

Consistency is the key. - Don't forget it.

Ever-Lasting Life-

It's been so long since I've posted anything! A little over 6 months I believe. Wow. I know I talk enough to post at LEAST once a month. ;)

But tonight, I have a thought for you. 

It makes me so sad to go on twitter or Facebook and see all of these people/teenagers searching for hope, happiness and freedom at the bottom of a bottle, a bottle of pills, or a bag of some sort of drug.

Like if maybe, somehow they can drink/smoke their life away, something will get better. All for them to wake up and realize they're even more hurt, beaten down and drug out than they were before they went searching.

John 4:14. "but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

No more searching.

"Jesus is the answer, for the world today, above him there's no other, Jesus is the way."

I dare to say I've been through quite a bit in life, and I also dare to say that never once, has God left me on my own. He's provided the material and the emotional/spiritual things. Whenever I call, he's there. Just give it a try. See if he answers your call. 

 Take life as it comes. You're given what you can handle. Remember, that you have talents. Remember, that you are beautiful. Remember that you, are alive.
 
I am who I am. I believe what I believe. I have love. I have life. I am happy. I am healthy. I have family. I have friends. I have hopes & dreams. I am not perfect. I am not a model. I am not going to have the answer for every equation life throws at me. But I have Jesus. and I have hope. And faith. and experience. and common sense! And that's enough for me.

Tell yourself these things. Believe these things. Live these things.

M(:

Distance.

It's amazing what we put ourselves through. and It's amazing what life puts us through. 

These past few days have been... different. To say the least.

Things have happened. Life, has happened. People are hurting. Friends are hurting. Family is hurting.

Yet, somehow when you try to comfort these people, or think back to what you would have wanted if/ and when you were in that same situation. and all you get is distance. Distance from the person/people that mean the most to you. Distance from... your very own heart. Because you put SO much into that person/situation. You put so much of YOURSELF into their life/situation that you don't even know how to live or function properly, because you miss them. Or because you miss what you've put time and heart into. You miss everything.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in giving everything your best and giving it your whole heart. Which is why when something happens, and distance is created, I'm the one that gets hurt the most! But I don't regret my hurts for a second. Because on my best days, I had the best people. And on my worst days.. I had maybe one person, or none at all. But the beautiful thing about hurt and loneliness, is that you get to give God that much more. You get to trust him to take it all. It's so easy to do that when you have someone. When you have your person... but when you don't.. that's the hardest time to give it all. To make sure that the gap between you and God, doesn't exist. You see, this is what we do to him daily. This is how he feels. He's ALWAYS there. He gives us his all. and we create distance, and he's the one that gets hurt.

Now, this is a lot to take in. A lot to think about. But seriously, think about it. Think about your friends, and think about your relationships and the people that mean the most to you. And when you're going through a rough patch, don't create distance, because I can't promise that when the distance is gone and done with, that they'll still be there.

But, for now, that's all I have for you, that's all my brain can compute tonight. 

Just give me a few days, and I'll have more for you to read (: 

Thanks for reading. God Bless!

M (:

Changes, Changes (:

Summer 2011 is coming to a close all too fast, although I'm excited to start school and be intelligent again, I'm going to miss the friends, and family, and laughs.. I have memories and pictures to make my life interesting. 

So many people have made this summer amazing for me, and If I could thank all of them individually, I would, but there's too many people to thank.. (: Well, there's 1 name that comes to mind for a lot of it. But I'm not naming names (: 

I'm so very excited to start school again. and I'm excited to have a crazy busy life again. Not that my summer hasn't been crazy busy, but It's a different kind of busy (: 

I hope to write more during the school year, but then again, I've been saying that for months, and I only post like 4-5 times a month, if that!! haha so we'll see what happens (:

I pray for every child of God going back to school this year, that their passion for God and their fire and determination to turn their world UPSIDE DOWN, will remain in their heart.

It's all for you, Jesus! Let our lives show that YOU are our Creator, that YOU are our King! and that YOU are my God. 
I love you with all my heart (:


So, that's all.. Until next time (; 


M. (:

Summer 2011- Where are the words?

Hello everyone (:

How've you been?
That's great!! haha now I feel like Dora.

Anyways, I don't think I've blogged for about 2-ish weeks, I've been one crazy busy person.


I've been working, doing stuff for church, getting ready for school, and hanging out and talking to some of the most amazing people I've ever met, my best friends. <3 

Summer of 2011 has been... epic, exciting, crazy, stressful, amazing, busy, annoying, way too much fun, hanging out with thee most amazing people, developing relationships with so many different people, it has just been beyond crazy. (: Part of me wants school to start, and part of me wants to stay in this summer, and spend even more time with my besties, and live life without care... I can never find a happy medium. Totally opposite. haha but I'm excited for what this upcoming (2011-2012) year will bring. 

I know God has big plans for me this year.  I know I'm gonna make more friends. I know that I'm going to live life overly happy, as I did this year. I know that I can't plan it all out and I have to take life as it comes. I have crazy expectations for 2012. Like turning 16, getting my own car, facing life as it comes like I have for the past 6 years. 


I have a lot to deal with in myself. 
I'm not perfect
I'm not drop dead gorgeous
I'm not the best person ever


I have an attitude,
I have my opinion..
I have my beliefs, 


and through all of this, I have my God. and I guess the biggest thing I've learned this year is that I have to keep trusting God with everything in me.. and stop trying to make what I want happen, and let his plan for my life come into life.


Some days, I wish life were different, I wish I could change a lot of things, and then I get to these days I've been in, where I don't regret a single thing that's happened to me, anything I've been through, because without all that, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I like who I am today. 


I'm ready to turn MY world, MY church and MY life. Up-Side-Down. 


I love you all (:
You make me who I am today.. happy (:


So that's all, until next time that is (;


May God Bless you and your family, and your life. Because chances are, you deserve it. (;


M. (:

"Art"

So-kill me if I never, ever understand this world's perception of "Art". 

 It simply doesn't make sense to me. Can anyone explain this? No. Didn't think so. This world's perception of art is sadly distorted. Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Pieces of twisted metal, it all makes sense, to someone, just not me. Instead, I'd rather see the beauty in the creation of God, the real Art. The Birds, the Sun, the Sky, the Clouds, The Moon.... the flowers. Something so small planted in practically nothing. A little water, a little fertilizer, and something beautiful comes out of nothing. THAT is Art.

This, right here ^ is art. Beauty. Creation.

Music-

For me, Music holds great passion and immense emotion.. 

Just tonight, right now actually, Every song I turn on, I feel my heart literally swell, like it can't take the amount of emotion, and passion and devotion. 

Up until about 3 weeks ago, I was on the fence with music, and by on the fence I mean in denial, My excuses would be "Well, I'm pretty strong and it can't effect me THAT much" or "She's from Disney Channel so it's not THAT bad" and After Senior Camp, I decided that I was done with those artists, those songs, and the people and situations that they uplifted into idols. 

Tonight, I turned on a song from a Disney Channel star, and my heart just didn't feel right, and I realized that that kind of music (unChristian) , because of my passion for music, brought every possible emotion that could get in the way of me and God, out. And into my heart once again.  I don't think people realize how heavy musical emotions weigh on our hearts, bringing the emotions of Hurt, Pain, Loss, Longing, Neediness, Lust, and everything else, just sits there, acting like a tons of bricks to the heart, and unless you realize that, you can and will be trapped under the emotions of music. 

I'm not saying this to convict anyone, or to condemn, but for someone to realize that those are not the emotions God intends to place in your heart, he wants Love, Peace, Joy, Gentleness and the other three fruits of the spirit to be what feeds your soul, not the above mentioned.

So next time that unchristian song comes on, think of the emotion behind it, what does it really mean, what is it bringing into your life, and ask your self, is it worth my relationship with God? 

Just another thought to think; Until next time of course :)

Comments Welcome! 

M. :) 

Revival in Minnesota-

So, this past week (20th-26th) was Family Camp out at Camp Galilee. It was amazing, I got to spend all week with my friends, but most of all, the presence of God was so immensely strong every night at the services, Brother Greg Godwin and Brother Tom Foster from Dallas First Church in Texas split the nights up and spoke, and it was just, powerful. Amazing really. 

So we had a little revival at camp and then we didn't really know what to expect with our own church's come that Sunday morning, "Will it be as amazing as family camp?" "Will it be as powerful?". Well I guess God doesn't these questions, because whenever I ask them, I'm constantly amazed with the results like God's saying "Do you not know what I can do? Do you underestimate me?" And so the service that morning was amazing, and then the night service came, and I will be honest. I wanted to go home and sleep, I wanted to be anywhere BUT church, but then again God said "You must seriously underestimate me."  Prayer started, and I was throwing a little pity party for myself, and so I was late for prayer, and I saw my best friend sitting in the back, now sometime in January of this year she gave up on God, she said it wasn't her religion to believe, so I saw her head bowed and she was whispering quietly, and so I was like "Wanna come sit with me?!" and she was like "Yeah!!" and it shocked me because she hadn't been THAT excited to sit with me in the second pew for a long time, so we were up there and it's still prayer and she started praying with an arm raised, she hadn't raised an arm in church for months, and she was crying and I was like bawling at this point, and she prayed through, and you could tell she was changing a lot of things in her heart, and I was just imensely amazed yet again, and I was like crying off and on the whole time during that service, and someone was like, "You shouldn't be crying for her, you should be rejoicing" Which IS true. But worship and rejoicing is not defined by  dancing, leaping and shouting. Everyone's worship is different, never tell someone to worship in a different way that they do. Just throwing that out there. 

But it was just an amazing week and weekend, and I am continually amazed with God. And I know that it's all jumbled into a rambling mess but I wanted to share this girls testimony about Sunday!!





Just another thought to think; Until next time that is;

Comments Welcome!  ---> God Bless :)

M. :)

I want to leave a legacy-

Almost a year ago, a young lady, about 17, in Burnsville, MN had a little baby girl. She named her Xenella. This baby girl lived, and thrived, and her mom loved her to pieces. Her family loved her to pieces. God's little Angel, sent to earth to keep her mommy company. When this little girl was 8 months old, she stopped breathing during an afternoon nap, this went undetected for about 30 minutes, which as most people know, there's no turning back. But Xenella was on life support for a week, and at exactly a week at 7am, they pulled the plug on her life support. During those seven days, people prayed, and prayed for this baby and her family. God had different plans, but it showed us just how precious lives are, weather it's a little baby girl or boy. Or whether it's a full grown adult. 

2 Weeks ago. A 19 year old girl that went to gateway college of evangelism, in St. Louis, MO, her name was Miranda Donnell, got sick. The doctors had no idea what it was. So they left it undiagnosed. Sunday or Monday night she was brought to the hospital unconscious, (I could be wrong about some little details) . On her facebook wall, friends wrote encouraging messages like "Praying you'll pull through" and "Praying for you!! Love you!!" but when morning came, she passed. If you look at her facebook timeline it all of a sudden had one post that said just this "So sad to hear about the passing of my dear friend Miranda Donnell. But I know God has her in a better place, in better hands." If you look at all the posts on her facebook wall,  you see the timeline, you see the love and prayers being sent her way, and then people started posting stories about how much she meant to them, and how much of an impact she had on their life. And about how she truly has been an inspiration, but is it better hands. 

So many times we pass life by. Not worrying about how we act, or who we meet, and how we treat people. But in those two completely different stories the end result is the same. Two Angels. Passed on to meet Jesus. and two young people, who left such an imprint on the lives of so many people. Too many to count.

When I leave this life, I want to leave a legacy, like my mom, and my grandma, and like a lot of the people I know will. I admire the strength of these people, the hunger and burning passion they have for God, and for people. The love they show daily and the way they impact lives. I'm so blessed to have all of these people in my life, and many more, who have not passed, but have already created a legacy, and sometimes. They need to be told how amazing, and important, and loved they really are. So that life doesn't pass us by so easily. 
 So in memory of these people. Think about your legacy. Think about your reputation. Just think about your life. Because, when the time comes. Your legacy could be great. Remembered for years and years. Or, life could just pass you by.

Life WILL go on.

Often in life stuff happens. Situations that you can't control, situations that you really don't deserve. But It's gonna happen and it's not how it happens, when it happens or why it happens. It's how you handle it when it happens. 

I guess you could say I've been through quite a bit in my life, It's been almost 2 years since by mom passed, and sure. I could look back on it and say "If God loved me this wouldn't have happened." or "I can't trust God" and I could be in pretty bad shape and blame it on the things that have happened to me. 
God has carefully orchestrated every single thing that's happened in your life. He doesn't want you to go through enormous amounts of pain or a million difficult situations that you can't handle, but if he has to, he will. Often times we get caught up in this world and he has to shake us awake. He has to do something to get our attention. It's called tough love. Something you probably experience when you walk away from a good friend who got into some pretty bad things, something your baby experiences when you have to let them cry themselves to sleep. Something that God has to let you go through. But in the midst of everything he has NOT forgotten you. He loves you! Never forget that. Because when you forget that, bitterness makes it way into your life, and that can't happen. I believe at one point in my life I was bitter, I was mad and angry. But once you get past that hurt and pain and bitterness, you're gonna see the sun rise out of the storm. If our lives were all sunshine, and happiness, we would take it for granted, but when a storm comes, and shakes you.  Then it passes, and the sun comes over the horizon, you can easily remember the blessing's God has given you, and even through the trials and tribulations. He still has you in the palm of his hand and He will always be there to catch your fall.
Isaiah 49:16 -" For I have written your name in the palm of my hands."
and also, remember this. It's not how great the fall, or mistake, it's how many times you get back up and move forward. 

Another thought to think, Until next time;

Comments Welcome. :) 


M. :)